Anyone who travels or talks to people that travel knows that one of the most popular topics to note and discuss after a trip is the state of the bathrooms. Whether you are staying in fancy hotels and marvel at the impressively outfitted commode, or traveling to a third world country and peeing in a trough, it is a rare thing to not comment on the facilites you have encountered. The Lundy family certainly fits that mold, and have appreciated some of the best and worst during our travels in the last couple of years. I recently had a new and unique bathroom experience that has prompted me to take a moment to capture a few of our favorite toilet-themed memories, but I'll come back to that...
We knew, of course, that we would need to be prepared for some rough potty-stops when we moved to China. Jeff and I had both visited China for work and had experienced the China-standard squat toilets. For those of you that haven't had the pleasure, allow me to explain. Traditionally here, they do not use the standard Western-style stool that most of us are accustomed to. Instead, they squat over an opening in the floor. Nicer bathrooms have a porcelain ring with foot pads directing you where to stand and a flush feature similar to a Western stool. Kayla, bless her, has adjusted to these toilets quickly and is a regular potty-pro, tolerant of even the roughest of conditions. McKenna, at just under 4 when we first arrived, has had a slower, and more difficult learning curve. The first issue is maneuvering your clothes - this is easier if you are wearing a skirt, but you still have underwear to deal with. For an adult, this can be a difficult question of positioning, but it is complicated for a small child. McKenna often can't pull her pants around her ankles and still straddle the hole - the clothes are too small to cover the span. Therefore, a simple potty break often requires a fair amount of undressing. (And if you are a 4-year-old who has to go, it can exceed the amount of time and movement your bladder can manage. McKenna and I speak from experience on this front.)
Next, clothes properly positioned, you must assume the squat position. Actually, once you get accustomed to it, this is not too bad. For you ladies who have "hovered" over a less than clean public stool, squatting is less strenuous on your quads and an easier position to hold for any length of time. McKenna, however, has never quite gotten the hang of it; and I have yet to find a good way of supporting her. For this reason, I rarely escape these trips without getting pee'd on. In fact - I will offer this recommendation - do not accompany a small child to a pit toilet with open toed shoes - it never ends well.
Finally, getting back up to a standing and fully clothed position without anything touching the floor can feel like mission impossible. If you think public bathroom floors in the US are nasty, well, you ain't seen nothing yet. Another unusual, and rather unpleasant, feature of the Chinese ladies room is the fact that they don't flush anything that didn't originate from them. So used toilet paper is stowed in the garbage. This is a bit...well... icky even if the bathroom is well maintained and lightly used; and a well maintained and lightly used public bathroom in China is a rare thing. I leave the rest to your imagination on this front.
Things get fun when you leave the big cities and head out into "real China." We have learned that communal troughs are the norm in most places; if you are lucky there are small dividers demarcating individual space and providing at least a small amount of privacy. Usually there is a trickle of water running down the length of the trough, but not always. In many places, the trough is actually just a shute, headed for the back of the building. What has made Jeff and I nearly laugh out loud is the fact that many of these public facilities charge a fee for the pleasure of using them!
Of course, discussing the state of the bathrooms is a regular part of China adventures, and as those of you who have worked in GM's test groups will understand, Jeff and I have been known to apply a "GMUTS" rating to them. But one of the funniest sights came from our first trip to Beijing, in May 2009.
During our visit to the Forbidden City, we happened upon this sign:It was the first and only time we have seen an official government-sanctioned star rating; and of course we had to evaluate it for ourselves. It was on par with the average "modern" (porcelain floor ring and flush) bathroom, but except for the sign it wasn't anything to write home about.
And so, we get back to the event that prompted me to record this topic. Last week, the Lundy family ventured out to Nanjing to do some China sightseeing. Needing a pit stop, I ventured in to a public bathroom downtown. It was of the communal-trough-with-doorless-divider variety; and while waiting for an open slot, I was befriended by a young boy (I'd guess about 4 or 5 years old) who wanted to practice his English on the only Western in sight. We traded "Hellos" and "How are you's?" and then my turn came up. I went through the various stages of getting into position (refer to text above) and then was startled by a little voice from the edge of the divider saying "You're pretty."
And so I challenge each of you to fill me in -- what exactly is the proper response to this lovely compliment when you are squatting over a trough with 15 other ladies and your pants around your ankles? And how exactly do you extricate yourself smoothly from this scenario at the end of your task?
